Cristobal the overanxious paperclip...

Many people underestimate the interrestingness of the common everyday office. Take for instance people's misconceptions regarding everyday office items. One might think that, say, a stapler is quite uninterresting. Well, they would be right, for as everyone knows, staplers are quite boring conversationalists and somewhat self-centered. After all, it's the staples that do the real work.

This story focuses on a young paperclip named Cristobal. Cristobal was a very impatient sort of paperclip. He could not wait to someday be useful and hold some really interresting paper together. Cristobal had long ago heard of the interresting chatter that paperwork engaged in and longed to be involved.

Cristobal was tired of the same old paperclip babble that he was forced to endure. His living quarters were entirely too confined for his liking, and he was linked to the other paperclips by that awful little boy that sometimes came to the office on Saturdays to work with his father. Additionally, Cristobal was linked to Brenda and Jill. The two would not stop talking. Brenda was an "artist" and hoped one day to be bent into a really unique statue of a horse or something similarly abstract. Jill was just plain annoying. She only talked about how bent she was that she wasn't linked with her true love Samuel. He was a really shiny plastic clip that marked a music book at the bosses home. Cristobal couldn't stand Samuel, as he was very pretentious.

Cristobal was practically humming with anticipation. Some days, he would interrupt the others and yell that he "just couldn't stand it any longer." Everyone looked at him strangely.

One day an official looking businessman walked close to the plastic cup that Cristobal lived in. The man had a VERY large stack of important looking papers. Cristobal practically jumped out of the plastic cup. To Cristobal's great dissapointment, the man just took a tin of mints from the desk. "Those aren't even his mints", Cristobal glowered.

Then one day. Today actually, Cristobal got his big chance. An overweight temp waddled over to the plastic cup and began to pull the linked strand of paperclips. Up and up he went, until Cristobal finally broke free from the plastic jail. "At last! At last!" he yelled as the waddling temp unlinked him from the rest. "See you suckers!" yelled Cristobal. "I'm off to make new friends, and I hope to never see any of you again!" he added for good measure.

The temp seized Cristobal in his orange Cheeto stained fingers. Cristobal almost passed out with excitement as he felt the paper being forced between his arms. "This is it!" thought Cristobal. Cristobal read the words at the top of the very important papers..."T...P...S...form. That sounds VERY important!"

And so Cristobal lived happily ever after with his new TPS friends. They talked for hours every day...every day that is until an unfortunate fire burned down the office.

The end.

P.S. Fortunately, Cristobal was treated at the Office Depot burn clinic for underprivilaged office supplies. He went on to live a full and rich life as a counselor for narcissistic staplers.