Turbo-donkey 3000

Have you ever had THIS happen to you? You have a large load of vegetables or other perishables to get to market, and your donkey just won't budge? I know I have.

Now, for a limited time only, BURTCO Industries has revolutionized your produce transportation problems! It's called TURBO-DONKEY 3000!!! No more will your tomatos become toma-don'ts! Your chickens will get there safely, your lettuce will arrive unwilted.


With it's patented, "Donkey rocket" technology, Turbo-donkey 3000 has the speed and acuracy that is unmatched in it's industry. Just look at THIS other major rocket powered brand.



It's way too slow and has been rumored to slam into cars, trees, an other immovable objects. THAT's a good way to get your food where it's going...as long as it's going to the MORGUE!


Yes, with Turbo-donkey 3000, you'll never hear THIS again, "Your vegetables smell like dookie!"


Just listen to this satisfied customer: "I used to habe los of troubles getting my coffee beans to market. With robbers, Federales, and Cartels, I yust could not get my beans to market without muchos problemas. Now when the Federales come, I yust flip a switch (click) I'm off! 'Nos bamos Turbo donkey tree tousand!' Aye, yi, yi!!!"







But wait, there's more! Now, for a limited time only, you can receive the free manual, "One thousand and one useful uses for a stuffed chicken!" when you purchase a Turbo-donkey 3000! The first hundred thousand callers will also receive the guide to identifying spider bites, "Spider bite or just MRSA?!?"


So remember friends, immitation rocket powered animals just won't cut it, and may cause permanent death! So order today, and your Turbo-donkey 3000 will be delivered to you immediately (Please allow six to eight weeks delivery as the Turbo-donkey 3000 is somewhat skittish and will not cross open water such as creeks and small fjords without significant encouragement).


This offer is not available in Florida, California, and Guam. They eat donkeys in Guam.

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Dong Dang Huynh and other funny things

This morning, the fam and I were going to swim in the creek. I was listening to the news and a report regarding an FBI bulletin came over the radio. The story indicated that Dong Dang Huyng was wanted for money laundering. They pronounced the name funny (Huynh Dang Dong) and the kids started laughing (sorry Dong). They further said that Dong might be in Vietnam or Hong Kong. This was too much for the car and the following wordplay ensued:

Huynh Dang Dong might be in Hong Kong.


Huynh Dang Dong might be in Hong Kong...where he is playing ping pong.


Huynh Dang Dong might be in Hong Kong, where he is playing ping pong...with King Kong.


Huynh Dang Dong might be in Hong Kong, where he is playing ping pong with King Kong...while
acting like ding dongs.


Huynh Dang Dong might be in Hong Kong, where he is playing ping pong with King Kong, while acting like ding dongs...singing a song.


Huynh Dang Dong might be in Hong Kong, where he is playing ping pong with King Kong, while acting like ding dongs, singing a song...about Long's.


Huynh Dang Dong might be in Hong Kong, where he is playing ping pong with King Kong while acting like ding dongs, singing a song about Long's...where they are going to buy palm fronds.


Huynh Dang Dong might be in Hong Kong, where he is playing ping pong with King Kong while acting like ding dongs, singing a song about Long's where they are going to buy palm fronds...to
make magic wands.


Huynh Dang Dong might be in Hong Kong, where he is playing ping pong with King Kong while acting like ding dongs, singing a song about Long's where they are going to buy palm fronds to make magic wands...to turn every girl into blondes.


This is about where it ended, but as you can see, my children will have plenty to talk with Dr. Phil about when they are older.

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Everyone's named Steve...

There was once a land where everyone was named "Steve". Men, women and children were named Steve. Dogs and cats along with various other types of pets were named Steve also.

While this may seem like a novel idea, it actually stunk. Here is a sample of a common daily interaction between a Steve family at the breakfast table: "Hey Steve, could you pass me the milk for my cereal?" Steve asked. "No Steve, I drank the last of the milk last night when I was up late tending to an awful case of indigestion." replied Steve. "COME ON Steve!" yelled Steve. "That's the second time this month you've drank all the milk!"

About this time, the father (also named Steve) steps in. "Alright, the both of you. I've had enough of your bickering! Steve, you will apologize to your sister Steve for drinking all the milk. Steve, you will apologize to your brother Steve for being such a snag." "Oh, Steve" said the mother, "Why do you have to be so hard on the children?" "For the last time Steve" said the father to the mother, "when will you ever back my play? I'm supposed to be the head of this family!" "The head better head out, or he'll be late for work!" Steve looked at his watch and scurried for the door. "We'll talk more about this LATER!" Steve snorted as he left the room.

"Alright kids" Steve said to her son and daughter "You know how much it bothers your father Steve when you fight. Steve, you need to be nicer to your sister, and Steve, you need to be more patient with your brother."

"You're right mother" said Steve "I'm sorry Steve. I'll try to be nicer." "I agree, I'll see if I can put up with more of your immature nonsense than usual." said Steve to her brother.

Steve the mother and the two children named Steve all laughed together as they thought about how silly the argument had truely been. Steve the dog wagged his tail and barked in appreciation for all the love that was being shared in the room.

As you can see, this is a horrible place and we'll have no more of it.

The end.

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