Turbo-donkey 3000

Have you ever had THIS happen to you? You have a large load of vegetables or other perishables to get to market, and your donkey just won't budge? I know I have.

Now, for a limited time only, BURTCO Industries has revolutionized your produce transportation problems! It's called TURBO-DONKEY 3000!!! No more will your tomatos become toma-don'ts! Your chickens will get there safely, your lettuce will arrive unwilted.


With it's patented, "Donkey rocket" technology, Turbo-donkey 3000 has the speed and acuracy that is unmatched in it's industry. Just look at THIS other major rocket powered brand.



It's way too slow and has been rumored to slam into cars, trees, an other immovable objects. THAT's a good way to get your food where it's going...as long as it's going to the MORGUE!


Yes, with Turbo-donkey 3000, you'll never hear THIS again, "Your vegetables smell like dookie!"


Just listen to this satisfied customer: "I used to habe los of troubles getting my coffee beans to market. With robbers, Federales, and Cartels, I yust could not get my beans to market without muchos problemas. Now when the Federales come, I yust flip a switch (click) I'm off! 'Nos bamos Turbo donkey tree tousand!' Aye, yi, yi!!!"







But wait, there's more! Now, for a limited time only, you can receive the free manual, "One thousand and one useful uses for a stuffed chicken!" when you purchase a Turbo-donkey 3000! The first hundred thousand callers will also receive the guide to identifying spider bites, "Spider bite or just MRSA?!?"


So remember friends, immitation rocket powered animals just won't cut it, and may cause permanent death! So order today, and your Turbo-donkey 3000 will be delivered to you immediately (Please allow six to eight weeks delivery as the Turbo-donkey 3000 is somewhat skittish and will not cross open water such as creeks and small fjords without significant encouragement).


This offer is not available in Florida, California, and Guam. They eat donkeys in Guam.