There once (approximately 65 million years ago) lived a small and crafty dinosaur named Donald. Donald was a devious dinosaur. For those of you who don't know what devious means, then you should invest in a dictionary or a phone to call a friend whom has a dictionary. Perhaps you could save up enough money for a computer to look up the definition on the internet. This is of course completely absurd as you are reading this story on the computer.
So, back to Donald. Donald was as aforementioned devious. All the other dinosaurs knew this and avoided him at all costs. Donald was in fact the 'Eddie Haskell" of the dinosaur world. He would be sickly sweet as he fawned over this or that, in an attempt to curry favor. All this when everyone knew that Donald was really after some food.
Donald had no tact and often interrupted other dinosaurs in the very act of obtaining food. As you may know dinosaurs for the most part ate other dinosaurs, except the sissy kind that only ate plants. This can be a bloody affair and therefore the FCC has stepped in and censored various portions of this story.
A typical conversation would go like this,
Donald: "Hey, whatch'ya doin?"
Other dinosaur: "Chomp, rip, snarl...huh, what?"
Donald: "I said, whatch'ya doin?"
Other dinosaur: "Hey man, can't you see I'm busy?"
Donald: "Oh, yeah, I can see that and might I add that you're doing a REALLY good job!"
Other dinosaur: "Yeah, great. Anyway, I'm pretty busy. As you can see I have killed this poor defenseless sissy dinosaur."
Dinosaur being eaten: "I'm not completely dead."
Other dinosaur: "Well, you should be. I completely (CENSORED) you (CENSORED) with my large and ferocious teeth!"
Dinosaur being eaten: "Yes, that was fairly amazing, but I'm still alive. Additionally, I don't appreciate the insults. I may be a vegetarian, but it's a lifetstyle choice and frankly none of your business."
Other dinosaur: "I apologize. I see where you are going with this. It was quite rude for me to make such cutting (pun intended..get it...because of the teeth?) remarks before you were dead."
Dinosaur being eaten: "That's perfectly alright. I appreciate your consideration in this matter. Nature may be what nature may be, but there's no reason to make it personal.
*and with that, the other dinosaur (CENSORED) the (CENSORED) out of the little sissy dinosaur's (CENSORED).
Donald: "Well, I must say that that was a VERY clean and effective (CENSORED). By the way, I've heard tell of your KINDNESS and GENEROSITY and thought that I might impose on you for an EXTREMELY small favor."
Other dinosaur: "Oh, great, here it comes."
At this point, Donald would mooch a leg or whatever other morsel he could con off of the other dinosaur. While annoying for you or I, this quickly became a serious source of contention for the other dinosaurs. After all they had a small brain and therefore a limited capacity for tolerating such impositions.
So when he wasn't looking, the other dinosaurs crept up behind Donald and (CENSORED) his (CENSORED) apart with a barage of (CENSORED) that (CENSORED) his (CENSORED) out. With Donald's (CENSORED), (CENSORED) and (CENSORED) out of his (CENSORED), he could no longer mooch food off of the other dinosaurs and in fact became a tasty meal for the venerable "Kevinasaurus Rex"...the meanest and hungriest dinosaur in the world.
The end.
So, back to Donald. Donald was as aforementioned devious. All the other dinosaurs knew this and avoided him at all costs. Donald was in fact the 'Eddie Haskell" of the dinosaur world. He would be sickly sweet as he fawned over this or that, in an attempt to curry favor. All this when everyone knew that Donald was really after some food.
Donald had no tact and often interrupted other dinosaurs in the very act of obtaining food. As you may know dinosaurs for the most part ate other dinosaurs, except the sissy kind that only ate plants. This can be a bloody affair and therefore the FCC has stepped in and censored various portions of this story.
A typical conversation would go like this,
Donald: "Hey, whatch'ya doin?"
Other dinosaur: "Chomp, rip, snarl...huh, what?"
Donald: "I said, whatch'ya doin?"
Other dinosaur: "Hey man, can't you see I'm busy?"
Donald: "Oh, yeah, I can see that and might I add that you're doing a REALLY good job!"
Other dinosaur: "Yeah, great. Anyway, I'm pretty busy. As you can see I have killed this poor defenseless sissy dinosaur."
Dinosaur being eaten: "I'm not completely dead."
Other dinosaur: "Well, you should be. I completely (CENSORED) you (CENSORED) with my large and ferocious teeth!"
Dinosaur being eaten: "Yes, that was fairly amazing, but I'm still alive. Additionally, I don't appreciate the insults. I may be a vegetarian, but it's a lifetstyle choice and frankly none of your business."
Other dinosaur: "I apologize. I see where you are going with this. It was quite rude for me to make such cutting (pun intended..get it...because of the teeth?) remarks before you were dead."
Dinosaur being eaten: "That's perfectly alright. I appreciate your consideration in this matter. Nature may be what nature may be, but there's no reason to make it personal.
*and with that, the other dinosaur (CENSORED) the (CENSORED) out of the little sissy dinosaur's (CENSORED).
Donald: "Well, I must say that that was a VERY clean and effective (CENSORED). By the way, I've heard tell of your KINDNESS and GENEROSITY and thought that I might impose on you for an EXTREMELY small favor."
Other dinosaur: "Oh, great, here it comes."
At this point, Donald would mooch a leg or whatever other morsel he could con off of the other dinosaur. While annoying for you or I, this quickly became a serious source of contention for the other dinosaurs. After all they had a small brain and therefore a limited capacity for tolerating such impositions.
So when he wasn't looking, the other dinosaurs crept up behind Donald and (CENSORED) his (CENSORED) apart with a barage of (CENSORED) that (CENSORED) his (CENSORED) out. With Donald's (CENSORED), (CENSORED) and (CENSORED) out of his (CENSORED), he could no longer mooch food off of the other dinosaurs and in fact became a tasty meal for the venerable "Kevinasaurus Rex"...the meanest and hungriest dinosaur in the world.
The end.
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