The little train that couldn't...

There once was a little train named Train.  This was not a very original name, but it was both functional and descriptive.  His parents were very efficient railroad equipment.  That is, at least his mother the coal car.  Train's father was a graffiti'd boxcar who had a wild streak.  He went wherever the tracks took him.  

Train was a bright young train with shiny red paint, and a beautiful little brass bell on top.  "DING, DING!" it would ding.  "TOOT TOOT!" little Train would toot with glee when he heard the "DING, DING."  Unfortunately, this became somewhat of a cyclical OCD kind of thing that really got on the nerves of the other rail road equipment.  The "DINGS" prompting the "TOOTs", which in turn caused more dinging.  Terrible.  

Despite this, little Train the train had work to do.  "I am going to go over Danger Mountain today" said Train.  "I have a large load of corrugated cardboard which MUST get to Happyville TODAY!!!"  This was not actually the truth, as Happyville had a current glut of cardboard.  Train did not hear the conductor say that though as he was "DINGING" and "TOOTING" quite a bit at the time.  

Train backed up to the box cars filled to the brim with cardboard items of every type.   "Ouch" yelled Boxcar Jamal.  "Watch where you're going."  "Sorry, Boxcar Jamal" said Train.  "I am just so very anxious to get this load of corrugated cardboard to Happyville!"  "Whatever" said Boxcar Jamal.  

And with that, Train was off, with Boxcar Jamal in tow.  "Chugga, chugga.  Chugga, chugga. Chugga chugga.  TOOT TOOT!"  whistled Train.  "DING DING.  DING DING" went his bell. Little Train TOOTED again with glee.  "TOOT!"

In no time, the little Train found himself at the base of "Danger Mountain."  "Are you kidding me?" querried Boxcar Jamal.  "There's no way that you're going to make it over that mountain. Look at it.  It's like huge and dangerous and whatnot.  I'm looking at my Zagats guide to dangerous mountains, and this one ranks number four!"  

Train's confidence began to falter.  "I know that I can do this...at least I think I can." he thought. "No, you'll never make it.  You'll slip off the dangerous curves, which were for some reason made with a negative camber, thus making it more likely for a train to slip off and plumet to it's doom!" he worried.  "NO!" thought Train in a determined fashion.  "I AM going to conquer THIS MOUNTAIN!  I AM!  THERE"S NO WAY THIS MOUNTAIN WILL DEFEAT ME!!!"

Just at that moment, a giant boulder broke loose and fell down the side of Danger Mountain. The huge boulder came crashing down and crushed Boxcar Jamal.  "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" said Jamal.  

And with that, the little Train thought better of it, turned around and went home.  

The end.  

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The lazy perfectionist...

I am a lazy perfectionist.  This means that I want everything done exactly right, but don't have the gumption to actually getting around to getting it done.  This causes me to have alot of inner turmoil and angst.

  

I recently invented a really cool game.  It took me like a couple of months to actually get around to making the rules and stuff, but it's finally done.  It's going to be a sensation and will probably sweep the globe in like a week or something.  It's called "Lazy eights."  It's pretty sweet.  The way you play is that each player gets eight cards, then takes a nap.  

The end.  

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