Two pies for Donald...

There once was a little bunny named Donald. Donald lived on the outskirts of a small village on the outside of London. There was nothing Donald loved better than to hop into the village and smell the wonderful aroma of pies as they cooled on the baker's racks. "There's nothing I love better than to hop into the village and smell the wonderful aroma of pies as they cool on the baker's racks" Donald said thoughtfully to himself.

This became a daily ritual for Donald, but unfortunately there came another tradition not so wonderful. For whilst Donald stood gazing longingly at the pies, the other naughty little rabbits would gather around and tease him. "You are poor and have to eat government cheese, and other bits of state funded edibles!" they would jeer. This as you might well imagine made Donald very sad. Sad not only because he was indeed very poor, but also because he never got to even taste the delicious smelling pies.

Time carried on, each day much the same as the one before. Donald would hop into the village and enjoy the smells. The other little rabbits would hop over to Donald and enjoy the heckling.

One day, the town crier called out from his high perch, "The butcher is coming, the butcher is coming!" This was the cry that everyone dreaded. This was the proudest moment of the crier's life. "I actually got to yell something other than the time and various bits of gossip!" he thought.

The butcher loomed from above the small rabbit village and with one sweep, swept up the rabbit closest to him. This ironically was the town crier in his high tower, thus making it the best and worst day of his life (in that order).

"Run!" everyone yelled as they tried to hop away. A dark realization came over the crowd as they realized that they had become very fat from eating pies every day and were quite unable to conduct any physical exertion on their own. It's not that they were particularly fond of eating pies every day, but it just seemed so much fun to chomp one down in front of the poor Donald chap. "We can't run because we're very fat due to the overconsumption of sugary pies!" they were heard to yell.

Now the following will say quite alot about you and your opinion of such things. You will be allowed to select the ending you think most appropriate. They are as follows:

Ending number 1: Donald laughed as he saw the butcher sweeping up little fat bunnies to put in his award winning bunny stew. "Ha, ha you evil nare-do-wells. I'd help, but you would never offer me so much as a single piece of delicious pie. Add to that your incessant need to badger me regarding my financial woes!" And with that, Donald hopped off to happier climbes where he started a bakery of his own and had just as much pie as he wanted.

The end.

Ending number 2: Donald heard the din rising from the village and lept to his window. You see, he had not been eating pies all these years and was very capable of leaping to the window or anything else he chose to leap to.

Donald ran into the village and with a mighty leap, jumped up and spun a 180 degree turn. Donald kicked at the butcher's mouth and broke out one of his bicuspids. The tooth lodged soundly in the butcher's airway, causing him to cough and gag as he stumbled away from the rabbit village.

Cheers rose from the villagers as they tried to lift Donald upon their shoulders with little success. "Oh, sod it, we'll just give him a reward for his heroic efforts!" they said. And with that, they led Donald to the one place he frequented every day his entire life. The bakery. Donald selected one boysenberry and one cherry pie which he savored and relished for the rest of his life.

The end

P.S. I know you chose the first ending. Sick-o's.