Anyway, Kevin was the leader of a small pack (herd, pack, flock? Lemurs never were given the 411 on what to call themselves, en masse). Kevin was a fairly compassionate lemur who thought that the group should be more inclusive as a whole. There had been several attempts by other animals to join their little herd, pack, flock (or whatever you may call it) of lemurs, but they were either chased off or given the cold shoulder until they would wander away with all new reasons to get lost in self doubt.
One bright morning, Kevin awoke to find a large dinosaur sleeping in the center of their little community. "This was not there before." thought Kevin. He was almost completely certain of that one point. Two points of which Kevin held feelings of less certainty were, A) What was the dinosaur doing in the middle of their living area, and 2) would his intentions be honorable and not end in the senseless eating of several members of his community. Kevin would not have long to wait for answers to both questions.
As the sunlight bathed over the last tall tree, the rooster crowed. The dinosaur awoke drowsily and sat his head up. He immediately ate the rooster in one enormous bite.
On most days, this type of activity would have bothered Kevin but a little, but Keving you see had very important meetings this week which required him to wake punctually (aided of course by the inherent need for the rooster to crow at the first signs of sunlight).
"Excuse me," beckoned Kevin the lemur to the dinosaur. "Would you please spit that back out? I need it, you see." "I'm sorry" said the dinosaur, "I've already swallowed it past my pyloric sphincter. As I'm sure you're aware, once it's passed that point, there is no coming back." Kevin bristled a little as he regarded the dinosaur's reply.
"Well, sir." Kevin snorted, "This simply will not do. We have rules and such around these parts, which preclude the eating of smaller beasts by larger and more teethier ones." The dinosaur thought about this for a short while, then said, "O.K. I understand. My name is Derek and I shall refrain from eating lesser beasts, as long as you let me live here. I like this spot, and frankly, I am in no hurry to leave." Kevin agreed and slowly over the next few weeks, an awkward friendship began among the two.
Things were going alright for the most part, when Kevin started realizing that his small group, pack (whatever) was getting smaller. "That's odd" thought Kevin. "I wonder the other lemurs have gone on some type of vacation of some sort?" They had in a way gone on a permenant vacation...one that would led through the entrails of Derek the dinosaur and end in a small distasteful pile on the side of the road.
Kevin really became concerned when his girlfriend Phillis and her brother Phillip dissappeared. Phillis for obvious reasons and Phillip because he owed him some money.
Kevin approached Derek one day and said, "Excuse me, Derek. Have you any idea what has happened to the others of this herd, pack, flock or whatever you may call it?" Derek looked at Kevin and smiled a wide toothy smile, "Nope." Kevin gasped as he spied there between Derek's front incisor and his other incisor (he's a dinosaur, that's all he has...it's because he only eats meat. You should know this stuff.) was the lovely tail of his late Phillis.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Kevin stated. "What have you done? You've eaten them haven't you?!?!?" "Well, since you're asking..." Derek said, "Yeah, I did have a few...dozen."
"What am I supposed to think of this? I let you stay here, against the wishes of the others in this herd, pack, flock or whatever you may call it and now you've eaten them!!! Well, that's just GREAT!!!"
"You can calm down, I won't eat any more." Derek reassured Kevin. Just then, Chuck the lemur walked by and Derek snapped him up into his rather large jaws. "HEY! I thought you said you weren't going to eat any more?" Derek just shrugged and looked on sheepishly. William the lemur was riding his new bike past the two and Derek slowly leaned to the side and sucked him into his mouth, "Swoooooop...crunch."
"Alright mister!" Kevin exclaimed. "You're OUTTA HERE!!!" Kevin marched over to Derek and pushed hard against the large dinosaur's torso. He tugged, he shoved, he lifted, but Derek would just not be moved.
"Are you quite finished?" Derek asked. "I'm getting a stomach ache"
This was it. Kevin would have no more. Why had he let this mangy dinosaur into his tribe in the first place? Kevin stood with his paws on his hips and looked Derek straight in the eye. "I trusted you, but that's it! If you eat one more lemur..!"
Children, I will spare you the gruesome details of Kevin's little trip through the dinosaur's not-so-super highway. So remember little ones, just because a person says he's your friend, doesn't mean he isn't eating your family for lunch.
The end.
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